Recently I've been a bit irritated that we have to regulate ourselves to be happy.
We have to work out, eat right, work on our minds, watch what we consume. And it's not a one size fits all regulation. Each of us has to go through this lifetime of trial and error to find what works for us.
But why? We're saved, right? We've got the Holy Spirit living inside of us, right? We are sons and daughters, right?
All those things are true. It's ok to get tired. It's ok to get upset. It's ok to feel feelings.
When I'm in this place, I'm trying to take a step back and ask why I'm in this place. Why am I tired of pushing, running, fighting, clawing, and scratching to maintain a level of peace before it gets disrupted again and I have to do the whole thing over again?
We know the answer to a lot of this is sin. Sin is in the world, and because of that, we don't have utopia, nirvana, or whatever else you want to call it.
But I am starting to think that the tension that never goes away points to something a lot larger: heaven.
I think we came from heaven and will, of course, return to heaven and that our souls are longing for it.
A place where there is no struggle, no pain, no complications, and no politics.
And I think that's quite ok.
We can even feel it in our souls at times, yes?
The pull of heaven in our spirits and hearts and minds while we push through the muck and mire that can be life.
I used to get freaked out for feeling sad or depressed, or anxious. At times I still do - part of this is not having great teaching on emotions.
But I'm starting to see a bit of the light inside the sadness. We are marching towards something good.
It's ok to feel bad because we want heaven now. But until then, we wait for the ultimate release.
We feel the tension.
Take care of yourselves, my friends.