Making friends seems to get more difficult the older we get. So we put it off or don't think about it. Rightly so: life is hard. And after work and family, there isn't a lot of time left for anything else.
But one day, we wake up craving friendships only to realize we haven't invested in them in the same way we do with our jobs, health, or family.
Take a moment one day this week to notice an elderly man or woman in public. More often than not, they are smiling at the gas station cashier or making some joke to the UPS man.
Because relationships keep us alive.
Making friends is a skill that all of us can develop, regardless if we are introverted or extroverted.
We can't allow the excuses of being unlikable or "different" prevent us from getting the love and connection we need in our life.
If food and exercise give us physical health, then community and being emotionally available give us mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
Here are three ways to make friends as a man:
- Find activities you like
- Invite people to join you in those activities
- Accept that while all are invited, only some become friends.
That's it. That's the simplest way to make man friends.
And as you can see, these steps aren't complicated. The most challenging part of making friends as an adult is putting forth the effort to know what activities you enjoy. You also need to continue to invite men to join you in those activities, but to do that, as men, we need to believe we are valuable enough to reach out to others. If we are always waiting on an invite, we may be waiting for a long time because other men are also waiting on invites. 😆
Keep pursuing connection in your life. A pastor once told me that community is the most potent weapon we have when facing spiritual warfare. But as men, we are stubborn.
"We don't need anyone or anything. I can do this myself."
While being individually strong is essential, I believe there is a strength, wisdom, and richness that you can only get in community with other men.
Give it a shot.